Babysitting sucks but whatever they got junk food, kung fu, egg fu, Dig Dug, a dogTooAnd a hot Jew, Mr. Weintraub, I mean he's old but not dimed outIf I'm bad I'll turn around in the corner for Time OutAight Josh what you wanna do? You wanna watch cartoons?HBO got Platoon, hey get back in the room!I assume your folks are gonna be out late, go make me Kool AidI'm a sit on the couch and masturbate then call my boyfriend Gabe and see if he ateSpit out my Bubbalicious and get to one of them big fridges that could fit 10 midgetsDamn they're rich, hey she left me fifty dishes-bi***!Let's try on ya mom's minks think she'll miss these Chanel links?In high heels you look like Jar Jar Binks- go play under the sink(I want my mommy and daddy!) I want your daddy as wellBut if you tell, you'll die of sickle cell and God told me you're goin straight to hellWell if you don't like it I can leave and then you'll be alone believe me that's what theCreepy monsters wantPlus I'll be taking your TVPut on your jammers and don't wet the bed I got a cameraI'll take a picture and show that little girl you like SarahOh and one more thing- there's been several mass murderers spotted in the areaI'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower, Woo! I'm makin 6 bucks an hourLet's make Fluffernutters don't f***in utter another peepI'll take the cookie cutter make star cookies outta ya skin while you sleepKeep still, I gotta check the bathroom cabinet hey what are these pills?I'll take the Valium Josh you take a bag and the TagamentStop throwin up I'm not paid enough you clean up the rugIs that Fluff? I told you 6 boxes of unmade Jell-O was too much All right kid you gotta go toBed, I know it's only 6 but my boy just came over and he wants me to give him headSit his bare ass on the couch where you watch Small WonderNext time you see Vicky the spot'll be sticky 'cause I sucked his d***y and used your mom'sCucumberDon't worry I'll put it back in the FrigidaireScared? You can have it for supper nice and crisp in the TupperwareNo bedtime story, Gabe get off you're so horny!Josh get in bed and Freddie Krueger might let you see your mom in the morninNo porn and shut the shade Gabe-One day you'll know how nice it is to get laid while you gettin paid
Lyrics by Princess Superstar
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