I opened up a copy Asian Bride MagazinenThe lady inside was so white, was so cleannThe hairs on her arms could hardly be seennthanks to L'Oreal’s skin and hair lightening creamnIf I bleached my skin and if I shaved my arms, I still wouldn’t look like no light-skinned Khannand as my dad used to say to my facenAiyoh, Sasha, you look like an African Was that just because of my baggy jeans?nOr just because as I’d say Dad, must be in the genes?nOr is it coz I’m tall and they’re all so smallnthat I’d get called Nigger by Pakis hanging at the mall?nDoctor, lawyer, dentist if you fail--nWho’s gonna care for you when you become frail?nHarvard, Berkeley, North London and YalenGet an education, marry someone pale!nPale, fair-- but not white,na man who’s at least a half of your heightnAsian, yeah, but better not be dark Those deep dark browns only bring on the frownsnnBrown on the outside, white on the insidenYou’re just a coconut they turned into a bountynBrown on the outside, white on the insidenYou’re just a paki, but you’re cool on the flipsidenBrown on the outside, white on the insidenYou’re just a coconut they turned into a bountynBrown on the outside, white on the insidenYou stink of curry, but you’re cool on the flipsidennThey don’t wanna see you coming home with white mannThey don’t wanna see you coming home with black mannThey don’t wanna see you coming home with any kind of man,nbut if you came home with a woman, they wouldn’t be your biggest fannThey just wanna see you hitched up with one of the clannIf you put your wealth together then you’ll be much richer thannthe Patels round the corner and the RatnasinghamsnAnay baba get a job or you’ll never find a man!nNo I aint Mingita, the pussy-eating paki--nI just don’t give a shit about getting marriednJust coz I don’t shave my moustache, my eyebrows join together and my nose is largenYou lot think I’m unfit for marriage that all I can cook is frozen chicken nuggetsnThat my life in the trailer park is somewhat savagenAnd my mates are a bunch of dreaded homeless faggets nnThank you, L'Oreal now there’s products for usnDaily use gonna help us to pretend that we’re high-castenBleach our skin, lighten our moustachenNow L'Oreal are coming in on the marchnYou know that they can smell the cash to be madenon vain middle-class Asians who just love to bathenArty-farty, you will become poornEat, baba, eat in the kitchen there is morenDegree, degree, hang it on the wall Brought you to this country, what happened to y'all?!nHymen, hymen, it better be intact Pappadum preach now I’m frying in the fatnAchar, achar, hymen is intactnI never used a tampon-- really that’s a fact