All That I Have Ever Lost
Libitina

nVenturing forth from the safety of my sickened mind nI have found you nA panacea for my sorrow nWith whom close embraced I can greet the morning sun nIt lessens the pain of all those lost and tearful nights nThe bitter awakenings from the cruelty of dreams nDespite this my heart is not entirely at ease nFor all that I have ever lost is worth less than you nI failed to hold onto it nWhat hope of keeping you? nnWithin the turmoil of this pandemonium nThe joy that I feel saddens me all the more nAnd the strength that you give weakens me all the more nFor knowing you are more than I have ever lost nnAnd I do not know how much to tell you of this nOf these insidious thoughts that destroy my peace nWhether to bare my psyche to your scrutiny nTrust to the bravery of such an honesty nOr whether this move will give cause for you to flee nUpon seeing the emptiness and the solitude nThat poisons my every waking, sleeping breath nAltering the perspective through which I see you nnWithin the turmoil of this pandemonium nThe joy that I feel saddens me all the more nAnd the strength that you give weakens me all the more nFor knowing you are more than I have ever lost nnAnd all that I have ever lost whispers to me nThe susurrant voices of jaded memories nThe failures that tug at the fabric of my soul nTelling me that you are as good as lost to me nThat one such as you is not fated to remain nAnd that their ranks will soon be swelled in number nAnother voice to join the chorus of regret nWhose rising melody will sing me to the grave n


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