Well, I guess I really oughta be makin up songs butI know it's dumb and sick and wrong andGot the studio booked in tennesseeAnd my record producer's callin meThe tape will roll in just three weeks andThey wanna book the band for a rodeo dance andThe contract claims they got five grand andMy agent says we oughta take the showBut tell you the truth I don't wanna goCuz there's this real good game of split hi-lo andTattooed young dark haired girls call me andI could skate for free in the hockey league andThere's famous people'd like to write with meAnd the beer at the black dog's usually freeThe whole damn world's an oyster to me andWe're on the radio in el paso andFinally got a little bit of press in T. O. AndThey're buying the records out in amsterdamThere's rock tours booked in far off landsBut I'm feelin kinda gambley andI don't see much of my friends these days cuzExcept whitey and gravy, they like a game andMy neighbor brent says I got a problemBut he don't know cuz nobody taught himTo bet the best when you know you got 'em andAll I wanna do is play cardsCrib and guts and stook and gin and stud and cowboy pitchBlackjack, eight or better, draw and hold em, chase the bitchAcey deucy, never loosey, hearts and black mariahSmear and low chicago, man, the stakes keep gettin higherContract bridge and spades and whist and kings and little onesCanasta, hearts and spite and malice, kings make little onesWhores and fours and one-eyed bores, house rules that ain't acknowledgedAnd them games you learned at vet school and at agricultural collegeChinese rummy, greek manila, omaha, dutch chaseStart em when they're young with fish and war and crazy eightsTwenty one and thirty one and seven twenty sevenWell if I don't play for money, hon, will I still get to heavenThree card brag and three card monte, razz and deuce to sevenMelding sets and red dog bets and counting cards with kevinBetween the sheets and screw your neighor, let it ride, strip pokerOld men on the corner playing pinochle and euchreYeah
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