I'd like to saynA few wordsnIn defense of our countrynWhose people aren't badnNor are they meannNow, the leaders we havenWhile they're the worst that we've hadnAre hardly the worstnThis poor world has seennnTake the Caesars, for examplenWhy, with the first few of themnThey were sleeping with their sister, stashing little boys in swimming pools, and burning down the citynAnd one of 'em, one of 'em appointed his own horse to be Consul of the EmpirenThat's like vice president or somethingnNow wait a minute, that's not a very good examplenHere's one, Spanish InquisitionnPut people in a terrible positionnI don't even like to think about itnWell, sometimes I like to think about itnnJust a few wordsnIn defense of our countrynWhose time at the topnCould be coming to an endnWe don't want your lovenAnd respect at this point's pretty much out of the questionnBut in times like thesenWe sure could use a friendnnHitlernStalinnMen who need no introductionnKing Leopold of Belgium, that's rightnEveryone thinks he's so greatnWell, he owned the CongonAnd he tore it up toonTook the diamondsnTook the silvernTook the goldnKnow what he left 'em with?nnMalariannA President once said, The only thing we have to fear is fear itselfnNow we're supposed to be afraidnIt's patriotic, in fact, and color-codednAnd what we supposed to be afraid of?nWhy, of being afraidnThat's what terror means, doesn't it?nThat's what it used to meannnYou know, it pisses me off a little that this Supreme Court's gonna outlive menCouple young Italian fellas and a brother on the Court now toonBut I defy you, anywhere in the world, to find me two Italians as tight-assed as the two Italians we gotnAnd as for the brother, wellnPluto's not a planet anymore eithernnThe end of an empirenIs messy at bestnAnd this empire's endingnLike all the restnLike the Spanish ArmadanAdrift on the seanWe're adrift in the land of the bravenAnd the home of the freennGoodbyenGoodbyenGoodbye