I call you from my car to say, I'll be there in awhile,nA short plane ride and I will get to see your pretty smile.nNothing on the radio, I fiddle with the dial,nThen I see a sign, the airport's just another mile.nI check my bags and think about how much I hate to fly.nAnd as I near security, I almost start to cry.nnWell, I hope the law enforcement agents can't tell from my face,nI've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place.nI'm sweating and I'm nervous and I need a little air,nCause with 4 balloons of heroin, it's getting crowded up in there.nCrowded up in there.nnMy mind is all a jumble and my blood is cold as ice,nI dread the thought of having to unload this merchandise.nRelax, I say, It's not so bad, it might feel kinda nice.nBesides, who hasn't a finger up there once or twice?nI must remember, don't leave any drugs inside the host,nI did that once and a girl who tossed my salad overdosed!nnWell, I say a little prayer, Hail Maria Full of Grace,nI've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place.nI'm sweating and I'm nervous and I need a little air,nAnd I swear I'm farting lines of blow into my underwear,nFrom my derriere.nnI was a little eager when I loaded up my stash,n5 balloons of ecstasy and 6 balloons of hash.n8 balloons of LSD and 9 of Sensimil.nA box of Chinese fireworks, Guatemalan child.nI made it to my gate now and my joy I can't contain,nI board the aircraft and take my seat in the cockpit of the plane!nnAs I taxi down the runway, I get a smile on my face,nI've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place.nFlight crew, prepare for takeoff, as I lift us into air,nAnd, by the way, does anyone want to by Guatemalan child?nFrom my derriere.nnI got 3 balloons.nUh, I got 3 balloons.nOooh, I got 3 balloons!