When I closed my eyes. nI could barely see the light. nI felt out to the edge of the track. nFirst off, to the left. nThen to the right. nWhy take a chance? nWhy risk surviving this crash? nI could feel it in my feet. nThen in the knees. nThen in the stomach. nI think I hear--screeching and blowing. nMy eyes fail--screeching and blowing. And force themselves open--screeching and blowing. nWhy take a chance? nWhy risk surviving this crash? nI think the engine said, I think the engine said. nI think I made that up.n I think I made that up. nWe are animals, driven by desires.n We are consumed, buying their picture of happiness. nWe deal in lives, trading people like things. nWe are machines, turning emotions off and on like a switch. nAnd when I close my eyes, I can barely see the light. nFeel out into darkness: nothing--nothing. nThere is no one to catch me: just me--just me. nAnd somehow this feels right. nThis is a break from relentless give and take.nThis is a break, a chance to move on. This is a time of silence, of silence and peace. nAlone inside my head.